Cultivating Leaders
Through all the years of consulting I’ve done, through all the years of cultivating leaders, I’ve had a chance to note some of the habits that lead to failure. One of the most glaring is an inability to recognize the end of a season.
We are human and we are nesters. We want to hang on to what we have forever. But seasons come to an end. Times change. People leave. Sometimes we have to leave. It all must happen to make room for the new. Leaders who can’t recognize these moments and navigate them gracefully get themselves in trouble.
I have two solutions. First, if this is your area of trouble, then you need to read Necessary Endings by Henry Cloud. It will help you.
Second, read the words of T. D. Jakes that I’ve added below. Now, T. D. may not be your style of minister, but he so nailed this problem of badly managed endings and season changes in a sermon not long ago that I asked for the transcript. Here is the relevant portion. Read it. Read it again. Ponder your life. Ask those close to you for their perspective on your soul and how you lead.
Seasons end. People leave. Things change. A leader manages it all with grace and wisdom.
That’s it. Have a good weekend. And here’s T. D. Jakes to take us to a close:
There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you, let them walk.
I don’t want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, or staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you, let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody who leaves.
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can’t make them stay.
LET THEM GO!
And it doesn’t mean that they are bad people. It just means that their part in the story is over. And you’ve got to know when people’s part in your story is over so that you don’t keep trying to raise the dead.
You’ve got to know when it’s dead. You’ve got to know when it’s over. Let me tell you something. I’ve got the gift of goodbye. It’s the tenth spiritual gift. I believe in goodbye. It’s not that I’m hateful and or unfaithful. I know whatever God means for me to have, He’ll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat, I don’t need it. Stop begging people to stay.
LET THEM GO!
If you are holding on to something that doesn’t belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to…
LET THEM GO!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains…
LET THEM GO!
If someone can’t treat you right, love you back, and see your worth…
LET THEM GO!
If someone has angered you…
LET THEM GO!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge…
LET THEM GO!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction…
LET THEM GO!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents…
LET THEM GO!
If you have a bad attitude…
LET THEM GO!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better…
LET THEM GO!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship…
LET THEM GO!
If you keep trying to help someone who won’t even try to help themselves…
LET THEM GO!
If you’re feeling depressed and stressed…
LET THEM GO!
Get Right or Get Left, think about it, and then…
LET THEM GO!
Stephen
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