Confrontation Q&A
In my last Leading Thoughts, I wrote about the art of confrontation. So many of you wrote to me to say this was a weakness of yours and that you wanted me to say more on the topic that I have to follow up this week. So, here are your top ten questions. 1. Why do I get so nervous when I confront people? You fear how you will be seen afterwards. You genuinely care about what is going to happen to the confronted person. You aren’t sure you are right about what you are doing. You are compassionate and[read more]
Practical Advice in the Art of Confrontation
I’ve spoken often in these Leading Thoughts about how leaders must master the art of confrontation. Recently, many of you have asked for more help in this area. I’m happy to provide it. Here are some essential, practical steps. First, deal with your own nervousness. Is it about how you are going to be perceived afterward? Is it about fear that you might be wrong on the facts? Is it that you feel pressured by others for a specific outcome? Whatever the reason, face it, resolve it, and get calm about it before you have the confrontation. Nervous, fearful people[read more]
Pursuing Healthy Long-Term Relationships
I was in a greenroom not too long ago. A greenroom is where people who are about to be on a television show get their instructions, have their make-up done, and generally have coffee and mingle with the other guests on the show. On this particular day, there were five or six people sitting around enjoying each other’s company. Suddenly, someone said, “Hey, it just struck me. We are an ex-wives club!” It took me a minute to figure out what he was talking about. Then it dawned on me. Each of us in that room had worked with a[read more]
Knowing the Numbers
Let me tell you about a type of question I often ask when working with leaders. It’s a question that seldom prompts a meaningful answer in return. I want to help you never make this mistake. I am not a numbers guy. Words and ideas are my specialty, not numbers. When it comes to statistics, I need simple and clear. I need what I call “crayon numbers,” stats that are big, bold, and revealing. This is the kind of information that helps me act, that gives me what I need to chart a course. Any other approach makes my eyes[read more]
Know What to Ignore
I was asked in an interview recently what one personal habit or practice has saved me the most time in my life and helped me maintain focus. It was a good question. I want to tell you how I answered. I think it may help you. My answer was simple: “I know what to ignore.” Almost disturbing, isn’t it? Yet I can tell you that knowing what to ignore and then ignoring it has made a huge difference in my life. It has helped me achieve. It has guarded my health. It has strengthened my ties to the things I[read more]
A Posture Toward Feedback
As we start this Leading Thoughts, I want to ask you to ponder a question. Here it is: What is your attitude when your team reports troubling facts about your firm or your leadership? I really mean that. You should ponder this. Take a minute. Look up from this screen or page, and answer this question for yourself. How do you regard difficult or challenging news about what you lead? You see, as I’ve said here before, great leaders are feedback addicts. They want to know the truth no matter how difficult, and they want to know it consistently, fully,[read more]
Leveraging Technology to Communicate
I’m going to be very, very practical in this Leading Thoughts, so I hope you’ll read, ponder, and act as you think you ought to when you’re done. Of course, this is what I hope you’ll always do with these Leading Thoughts—read, ponder, and act! There are two facts I want to impress upon you. First, lack of communication is one of the biggest problems I run into in nearly every firm I work with. I know it is a problem in most firms because I read the same studies and articles you probably do. Leaders think they are communicating[read more]
Unpack Your Bags
Let me discuss with you in this Leading Thoughts a big macro-principle I want you to live out and then also a smaller truth that may save you some trouble. We live at a time when people, particularly leaders, work their main job, but they also have a whole lot else going on besides. They also have their “side hustle” or their home-based startup or their attempt at multiple income streams leading to wealth. It is fine. I’m all for it. Yet hear me when I say that you will not be a success at your main work unless you[read more]
Memento Mori
I want to talk to you about a morbid theme but one which the greats of history have used to sharpen their sense of destiny and align their lives. I want to talk to you about death. We know from the writings of the ancients that human beings have, for millennia, contemplated their deaths in order to shine light on their lives. It was not uncommon for the Greeks or Romans to encourage each other to memento mori—“remember death.” They believed that if they could challenge their companions to ponder their deaths from time to time, all would live more[read more]
Dream (but Don’t Make Dreams Your Master)
There is a theme I want to explore with you in this Leading Thoughts, a theme that I expressed as well as I can in an article I wrote not long ago. I’ve included that article here. It isn’t necessarily addressed to leaders, but it so targets some flawed thinking of our age that I think you’ll find it a helpful warning for your own life and also wisdom you’ll be able to pass on to others. Enjoy! One of the most piercing bits of advice I’ve ever heard comes from Rudyard Kipling’s inspiring poem, “If.” He wrote, simply,[read more]