On Being Deceived
One of the things I pray most for myself is that I will not be deceived. I am not a fearful man, but I admit that I fear being deceived. The root of the ancient Greek word for deceived means, “not to see.” It means that you don’t see the truth, so you press on thinking that what you can see is the truth. Yes, this scares me. I’ve sat with men who were deceived about their wives. It caused them to blow up marriages that could have been joyous and fulfilling. They couldn’t see the truth. I grew up[read more]
Don’t Make Dreams Your Master
One of the most piercing bits of advice I’ve ever heard comes from Rudyard Kipling’s inspiring poem, “If.” He wrote, simply, “dream” but don’t make “dreams your master.” It is counsel we should all take to heart. We live in an age that urges us all to dream big dreams, to pursue the great adventure of our destiny, and to be the unique creatures each of us is meant to be. I’m glad for these urgings. As a Christian, I believe in a God who has determined purposes for us all. The Celtic Christians understood God as the “Destiny Weaver,”[read more]
Men Do These Things
Men, Do These Things Stop talking so much about being a man. Turn to a man you trust and say, “I want to be a better man. Help me.” Create a “free fire zone” with five other men. Anything they need to say to make you better, they must say. You too. Do something physically challenging every day. Stop expecting to understand your wife. You never will. That’s what’s exciting. Get on your knees and ask God to make you the man he wants you to be. Write down what you are responsible for. Then, make it all as good[read more]
July 4th
For 241 years, we Americans have celebrated the Fourth of July as the birth date of our nation. It marks for us a beginning, a sort of national commencement—of the revolution, of our nation, and of our determined march to freedom. Yet if we consider this important day through the eyes of our Founding Fathers, we find that the Fourth of July marked for them not so much a beginning as an end to a long and painful process, a troubled time some have called the First American Revolution—the one in the minds and hearts of men. We must remember[read more]
The Power of Heritage
His name was Jeremiah and he was working hard to let me know he was cool and uninterested. He could not have been beyond the fifth grade. I remember thinking that I hoped he did not know how handsome he was. It might have ruined him. He was black and with a deep, rich tone of skin that reminded me of Africa. He had big, intelligent eyes with a slight droop that I knew would drive girls crazy in years to come. He was also tall with a natural air of command he was trying to disguise as complete disregard[read more]
Truth of the Team
There are some truths that come naturally to us in our lives and some we labor to make our own. To put it in the language of the old writers, some truths are “hard won.” The truth that I came to slowly, but cherish now, is the truth of the team, the band of brothers, the man among men rather than solitary. I have walked alone far too much in my life. This was partially because I am an introvert and learned only late in life how to manage it. My heroes have always been lone ranger types who were[read more]
Largeness of Soul
Isn’t it interesting how a few words from a book we read or a movie we watch can form themselves into a life lesson? Years ago I was reading a book about American history by the eminent historian Paul Johnson. In describing several famous figures, Johnson commented that they were “good haters.” The words slammed into me. Thankfully, I was not a hater at the time nor did I have that bent of soul. Yet I remember how those two words painted a lasting picture in my mind.It was as though I could suddenly visualize the tracks of hate and[read more]
Our Digital Devices
There are a great many critics of our digitally-dominated world today and I share their concerns. We must all overcome the threatened rule of our digital devices and we must all re-acquire the gifts of silence, of stillness, and of being fully present with God and others. One of the ways I contain the rule of the digital is to make my devices feed my soul. That's where the battlefield is-the soul. The digital can deaden and destroy, or it can deliver and delight. I choose the latter. I do this largely by using apps that ennoble and elevate on a[read more]
5/29/15
I have just returned home from nearly a month of travel. Since the last day of April, I’ve been to Singapore, the Philippines, San Diego, Istanbul, and Iraqi Kurdistan. I’ve taught, I’ve lectured, I’ve counseled, I’ve listened, and I have watched the ways of men and women in a dozen cultures. I consider it one of the blessings of my life to get to see what I see and to play my minor role in some remote places in the world. As I reflect upon these recent days, it is not what is foreign but rather what is common to[read more]
5/21/15
It is the season of school graduations as I write this. I am moved each year at this time. What does it for me is watching tender but titanic shifts in millions of lives. Some step from high school into jobs or college. Others launch from college into professional life. All face fears, grope for wisdom, long for the meaning beneath the memories. I've done my share of graduation speeches. Often, school leaders ask me to talk about the principles that guide my life. I've identified ten of them - though there are probably more - and I'd like to list[read more]