The Power of Words

I believe in the power of words. I know you would expect that of a writer/speaker like me, but that’s not the sense in which I mean this. I mean it in a more personal sense. I’ve come to believe that the beginning of leadership and, in some cases, the beginning of romance, comes when a person realizes the power of his words.

Words are carriers. They carry spirit and they also carry the power to paint pictures on the heart. When we begin to understand this and begin to discipline ourselves accordingly, that’s when we begin to change lives with our words.

Take a moment and think about words that have helped to “build” you. In other words, the ones that helped shape who you are and who you understand yourself to be.

I can remember brief phrases that have embedded in my soul throughout my life. A coach told me that strength comes with a commission to protect and make safe. A teacher told me that if I would tame my tongue I could do great things. A distant family member told me they thought of me like Clark Kent who didn’t know yet that he was also Superman. Don’t get nervous. They meant it in a certain context. But all of these passing statements went into the wet cement of my soul and became part of my makeup.

About a dozen years ago, I went through a horrible time. Right as it started, my father—whom I’ve told you before wasn’t exactly warm and expressive—said simply, “You’ll get through this, and you will continue to rise.” These words rescued me. They had spirit. They painted pictures. They deposited courage, confidence, and strength. They helped get me through the worst year I’ve ever known. I think of them most every day. They live in me and continue to do their work.

I have often thought of the Song of Solomon in this context. It is a love poem, really, and the lover is telling his beloved how much he loves her, how gorgeous she is to him. Her teeth aren’t just nice. They’re brilliant white like newly shorn sheep. Her lips are like a “scarlet ribbon.” Her breasts are like “clusters of fruit.” The lover isn’t just giving her facts. He’s telling her how he sees her; what she is to him. I imagine she thought about those words and thrilled to them the rest of her life.

If you’re like me, you’ve used words to be cool. You’ve used words to wound. You’ve used words to show off what you know. How about using words to form a picture of hope, destiny, godliness, or nobility in someone’s soul? Suppose a daughter hears nearly every day of her life how her beauty is matched only by her character and how she’s marked to touch lives with her grace and gentleness. Suppose a son is told that he’s the pride of his father’s life and that Dad knows his son will let the tough things of life make him a man of character and skill. Suppose a wife is told that her voice lights up her husband’s soul. That promotion? That victory? It came because her confidence and love filled his soul through the inner soundtrack of her voice.

You get the point. Suppose that—without being weird, now—we decided to build something noble in the lives of those closest to us. Just little phrases. Just the last line of an email. Just a written note or a sentence worked into a chat about other things. Those words can radiate forever.

Leadership begins when we paint possibilities on the souls of others and use words to coach people to those possibilities. Romance deepens when words carry how we see our lover to their inner being. Children, friends, and people we’ve set ourselves to help need—whatever else they need—the kind of deposit that is only made through intentional words.

By the way, you don’t have to be Shakespeare to make a difference. A friend of mine was scheduled to speak in a church years ago. Before the service started, he heard a  man behind him say to his wife, “Your face is as soft as a horse’s nose.” My friend chuckled but was intrigued. When he could get a look without being noticed, he saw that the man was a rancher-type. He wore boots, cowboy hat—the whole thing. It was his life. So he used the language he knew—and she knew—to tell her how he felt about her. She never forgot it, I’m sure, and particularly because her horseman husband used the vocabulary of his world to love her.

Okay. Enough. You get it. Your words have power. They change the invisible environment around you. They deposit in the souls in your life. What is that deposit? What are you building?

Have a great weekend. And I’m sure you’ll want to know that the first Notre Dame game is September 5.

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